I have always had a place in my heart for writing. I have kept a steady journal since I was 18 and written poetry since forever. I figured that instead of flooding Facebook with status updates of what Bible verse or quote spoke to me for that day I would write about it for more people than my immediate friends to see =)
I have reached a point in my life where I feel closer to the Lord than I ever have my entire life. The funny thing is that what brought me to this place is brokenness. Over the past couple of years the Lord has caused circumstances in my life to bring me to my knees so that I am forced to have nothing but Him. After all He is all we need. Nothing this side of heaven can satisfy the thirst that our bodies quench for (John 4:14). I am at a point of complete vulnerability to the will of God. I have no idea what the next 6 months of my life are going to look like and that’s something that needs to be figured out soon. I am in the process of finishing up school, looking for an internship that must start in the fall & job to pay rent and getting an apartment. These things have to be decided but all I can do now is start taking steps and knowing that He will provide. He has stripped me of all that was a security to me. The thing is that none of that security was Him. Not knowing is a scary place to be for a planner like myself. I like to have everything worked out and know how it’s going to happen. God wrecked my plans because He saw something better for me right now. God isn’t afraid to wreck your plans. I saw a pin on Pinterest the other day that spoke exactly to my life right now. It said, “God will wreck your plans when He sees that your plans are about to wreck you.” How true is that. How often do we think we know ourselves the best? How often do we make a decision to take a job, choose a school, date/marry a certain someone, all because we believe that it’s in our best interest to do so? The question we should be asking is: is it in God’s will for me to do so? When are we going to wake up and realize that God knows us better than ourselves and HE IS ENOUGH??? I had to be reminded of that but it was through a painful couple of years of trying to do things on my own over and over wondering why nothing ever worked out. It’s because I was doing things my way and not His way. Those things weren’t bad in my life but they were taking the place of who should be number one. I believe that God will give me back what was lost but only in His timing and when I’m ready.
My only hope is that through this blog you can see a little bit of my life and be encouraged to turn to God no matter what. Trust that He is enough and He always keeps His promises and won’t let you fall without being there to catch you. My dad has a favorite quote from The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel that he says to me a lot: “Everything will be all right in the end…and if it’s not all right than it’s not yet the end.”